1. The Hunger Games
I thought the first trimester was bad, whoa buddy I was wrong. See there have been several times where I've had to clean up after my wife. Meaning I ate the food off her plate cause she couldn't finish. Those times have disappeared my friend. Now if I making food for myself (after feeding my wife!!!), her head will pop around the corner and say "what are you making?" I have learned that this is code for "I'm going to eat that!" I now try to cook and eat in undisclosed locations just so that I can survive the winter. Don't judge me.
I thought the first trimester was bad, whoa buddy I was wrong. See there have been several times where I've had to clean up after my wife. Meaning I ate the food off her plate cause she couldn't finish. Those times have disappeared my friend. Now if I making food for myself (after feeding my wife!!!), her head will pop around the corner and say "what are you making?" I have learned that this is code for "I'm going to eat that!" I now try to cook and eat in undisclosed locations just so that I can survive the winter. Don't judge me.
2. My hip. Is. Dying
"Round ligament pain sucks!" This is a direct quote from my wife and I can attest to her wailing, it hurts. The body has to adjust to the fact that your woman is having a baby! So when people say it becomes all about the baby, they mean this mentally and physically. Just be prepared to comfort her/ care for her and if your wife is lucky enough not to get this, then be super thankful.
"Round ligament pain sucks!" This is a direct quote from my wife and I can attest to her wailing, it hurts. The body has to adjust to the fact that your woman is having a baby! So when people say it becomes all about the baby, they mean this mentally and physically. Just be prepared to comfort her/ care for her and if your wife is lucky enough not to get this, then be super thankful.
3. Belly touching
Ever rub your stomach after a really good Thanksgiving type meal? That is how I interpret women touching their bellies. Not a bad thing just reminds me of good food. Anyway it isn't just your wife who begins to do more belly rubbing. I have found that the creepy people to touching your belly ratio goes up dramatically during the second trimester (Pew Research I'm sure did this testing). Reason---- coincides with #7 (see below).
Ever rub your stomach after a really good Thanksgiving type meal? That is how I interpret women touching their bellies. Not a bad thing just reminds me of good food. Anyway it isn't just your wife who begins to do more belly rubbing. I have found that the creepy people to touching your belly ratio goes up dramatically during the second trimester (Pew Research I'm sure did this testing). Reason---- coincides with #7 (see below).
4. Intense Pregnancy dreams
So my wife has had more realistic dreams. I've been lucky that she has only had a couple super intense dreams where she will cry in the middle of the night or yell and I get up and revert to all the Bruce Lee/Kung Fu movies I've watched. Again just be patient, care for her, comfort her, tell her everything is going to be okay and try not to karate chop her in the neck.
So my wife has had more realistic dreams. I've been lucky that she has only had a couple super intense dreams where she will cry in the middle of the night or yell and I get up and revert to all the Bruce Lee/Kung Fu movies I've watched. Again just be patient, care for her, comfort her, tell her everything is going to be okay and try not to karate chop her in the neck.
5. Old man bladder control
Okay so I make the running joke a couple days ago that I am the only person in our house with a strong bladder, for now (pride before the fall). This is true. The bladder gets smushed (medical term) as it has to make room for your incoming baby. Plus if this is your first kid your wife is trying to drink lots of water to be healthy or some garbage, which makes it worse. I always said my wife had the bladder size of a tear drop, but now it more true than ever. Don't worry she will get me back in about 35-40 years.
Okay so I make the running joke a couple days ago that I am the only person in our house with a strong bladder, for now (pride before the fall). This is true. The bladder gets smushed (medical term) as it has to make room for your incoming baby. Plus if this is your first kid your wife is trying to drink lots of water to be healthy or some garbage, which makes it worse. I always said my wife had the bladder size of a tear drop, but now it more true than ever. Don't worry she will get me back in about 35-40 years.
6. Anything baby related gets cuter
Now your woman may have always thought that baby stuff was super cute, but with my wife that was never the case. If you need to go back then please do, but in short my wife and I were not totally interested in having children. So when we saw baby stuff or clothes we weren't ooohhing or awing over any of it. To us it was just really small clothing and toys. Now I can count on my wife to cry over an outfit and I will even admit there are some cute baby things out there. Now I am going to go grab my man card and go blow something up while wearing sports gear.
7. You are now obviously pregnant
Trying to hide that bump. Well sorry, not going to happen anymore. Your wife will feel like a whale and looked like she beat you in a pizza eating contest. You can't get around it, you can tell she is having your baby.
8. You can feel and see your kid doing Kung Fu moves
I'm convinced that our baby girl is going to be a soccer star, Kung Fu master or she is doing a 1980's kick punch dance out her rage moves. She kicks the day lights out of my wife's stomach. This actually is one of the coolest parts as you get to feel your kid and watch them move. It becomes so real and it is quite amazing. It reminds you that there is a person growing in there that is a mix of you and the person you love. And we can't wait to meet our baby girl.
Merry Christmas
The End~
8. You can feel and see your kid doing Kung Fu moves
I'm convinced that our baby girl is going to be a soccer star, Kung Fu master or she is doing a 1980's kick punch dance out her rage moves. She kicks the day lights out of my wife's stomach. This actually is one of the coolest parts as you get to feel your kid and watch them move. It becomes so real and it is quite amazing. It reminds you that there is a person growing in there that is a mix of you and the person you love. And we can't wait to meet our baby girl.
Merry Christmas
The End~
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