Anyways there are some important things that you may already know and should know when your little bundle of joy enters the world.
1. The first crap is soooo nasty.
So imagine if you had a sink pipe that was clogged. And you kept throwing food down it and back hair, etc. Imagine then releasing that pipe. That is but a small picture of what a baby does when it poops for the first time. It is called merconium and it is a stool that essentially looks like tar. Oh and it is sticky like no tomorrow so when you get it on you or your hands (you will) it is really difficult to get off. I had to wipe my daughters but like 30 times just to get it off. Okay maybe not 30, but definitely 15! Also there is usually A LOT of it. Funny story about that, I changed our daughter earlier and took a 1 hour power nap. Our nurse came into check on her vitals and realized oh she probably needs to be changed (nurses sometimes do this which is awesome). MY daughter hadn't done her blowout tar poop monster yet. Well as the nurse was changing her, BOOM. She pooped and kept on pooping and didnt stop. Filled her whole diaper, got it all over the nurse and still continued to poo. Apparently she was the story of the night with the other nurses. Biggest poo this nurse had seen. I just sat on the couch with a grin of delight (and relief of the storm I missed).
2. The first night you may sleep, the second night you may want to return your child.
Now not everyone experiences this, but it is a very common thing. The first night that you child is born they sleep like a log. You think, holy cow I have an angel baby that sleeps at all night. The second night you wonder if they switched your baby, as they hardly sleep at all. The nurses explained that the second night they are more aware that they are no longer in mommy's tummy. They sleep less and cry more. I looked totally wrecked on the second day. I think you also are so hyped from this great moment that just happened that you it drives you through the first couple nights. As time goes on and especially that second night you are like what demon child is this?
3. Go to Chipotle or Qdoba to learn how to swaddle.
Okay currently I am the swaddle master. I learned my trade from my 2.5 year every Thursday Qdoba run. Swaddling a baby is like a burrito. Trust me if your baby loves your swaddle you will gain so much rest and sleep. Besides don't you hate when your burrito spills over anyway?? Our baby thrives on that and man I am lucky. Your baby may require other things or may hate the swaddle, but it doesn't hurt to have it as part of your "calm down baby" arsenal.
4. Make diaper changing fun (cause you will do it a lot)!
One of the highlights is changing a diaper. That sounds strange. My baby girl has to be changed somewhere between 10-15 times a day! She is eating around the same amount so essentially the second she eats, she craps. So since you will be doing this so much in the beginning, why not make it fun. I either sing to her (I've made up my own I'm changing your diaper songs), or I created a diaper music mix to play when I change her. It calms her, makes her look at me funny, but it also makes the experience of changing human feces a little more fun.
5. Whatever your wife needs... do it.
Your wife just pushed a watermelon through a straw. Most of you dudes (myself included) couldn't even come close to taking on that kind of pain. She may tear (where babies came from tears sometimes to make room to get out). Therefore she will need you to care for her and the baby. This will be the lifelong lesson but at this point it is super important to be there for her. She needs you not only physically but emotionally. We tend to want to do things (physical) but lack in the emotional area. Last thing your wife needs is another child (you acting like one) or an absent worker (find time off...take it as it is totally worth it).
Well, they say that kids grow up fast. So take your time. Enjoy every moment you get with your kid. Whether they have been born for a week or 25 years.
If you are already parents and have anything to add to the first week of having a newborn please add to this post in the comments.
The End~
