We are Cowards!

Just admit it. We are cowards! Your probably asking what in the world is he talking about. Or how DARE you call me a coward! So I am not trying to insult you (well maybe a little) rather just trying to get you to see that in a way we are all cowards. Have you ever had a problem with someone, or something someone did? Whether it was to you or to someone else? Ever get irritated with someone, annoyed or angered? Well I definitely have and some of them have come from within the church. Yes I said it, INSIDE the church (I do not speak of the building I work in but the overall body of Christ). There are stories perusing my mind now of situations I could have handled much better if I had just approached that person in love. Instead the natural human tendency is to tell someone else. Saying how they hurt you or mistreated you or just flat out stink as a human being. Though all those things can be true of that person, is this the most biblical way to treat someone? Well frankly no! Let's see what the bible says,

1. No matter what the problem is, or what they did to you, you MUST forgive them.

This is the one people tend to cringe on during sermons and talks. Everyone loves to be forgiven and sometimes its a lot easier but to forgive someone that has wronged you takes some serious gut check.
Matthew 6:12-" Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors..."

Ouch the assumption here is a present tense, "forgive us God", as in the past tense "we have also forigven those who hurt us, wrong us, made us angry." Watch a documentary called As We Forgive. It will make your petty arguments and silly differences seem so small. If people can forgive those in Christ for murdering their families, and yet you hold a grudge cause of an argument??

How can we ask for forgiveness from a loving God, yet not illustrate that same characteristic back to His people? Here's where it really hurts:
Matthew 6:14-15:
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Double ouch! I think this verse is self-explanatory! (Also read Matthew 18:21-35)

2. We are called to love them regardless of what the situation is.
Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was. Obviously it was to trick him, and get him to basically sound like a Pharisee. Instead He said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Then he said to , Love your neighbor." He didn't say (and sometimes I wish he did), Love your neighbor, but only when they love you back. Not when they act stupid, or say something behind your back. You can get angry with them, and say anything about them as long as its justified by your own bias and skewed logic!
Yeah sounds funny but this is how we think....we are called to love despite the falleness of people. (this goes for unbelievers to!!)

3. We must be willing to approach, be truthful and if possible let them go.
(Matthew 18:15-20)
The one thing that I think is most irritating for both parties is the unwillingness to approach each other. We either wait till the other person approaches us, or we wait FOREVER to approach the other person. Well you say I am not ready. I believe that, I have been there but the issue must be talked about (though its not was at all). Not only is approaching them hard, but telling the truth in love is even harder. To tell someone that they hurt you, or "show them their fault" is really hard to do. It makes you vulnerable in the sense of saying, "You hurt me, and you have the capacity to hurt me this way." But Matthew 18:15, tells us that we should "go and show" the faults or hurt we experienced. Then Jesus gives us steps by which aid our ability to deal with someone who hurt us:
1. Go and show, if they listen great, if not go to step two.

2. Bring one or two people with you, if they refuse to hear it go to step 3 (this way people can help to mediate, and counsel those who are hurting, but also to testify that something or someone has been wronged)

3. Bring it before the church and gossip about it till the moon turns red and treat them like crap! Okay maybe not but Jesus is making clear, that if someone is wronged that they should approach that person, love them, bring others into it for counsel and mediation (NOT gossip) then if they refuse let them go.


See the world has infected the church with the notion that if I am wronged, gossip about it. Tell everyone BUT the person who you have issue with. If we are upset with someone, 99.9999% of the time, it is due to mis-communication, or NO communication. And those two things only complicate a situation where there has been a wrong committed. Gossip, or malice or running to other people to bash, or burn their character just illustrates how much of a coward you really are. This is NOT a biblical based attitude toward other people, rather a worldly attitude that makes us feel good.
I have had many times where I have wanted to be ugly, to tell someone off, and to lay into someone about all their faults and short-comings. But I always have to catch myself and say is this the most Christ-like thing I can do? How would God gain any glory from me gossiping and tearing down someone else? I must retreat to His word, and not only retreat, I must submit to what it says (and not make loopholes or justify myself). Thankfully I am "under-construction" and being sanctified daily.

Be Blessed