I'm tired......and lazy. Life of Toddler

Okay I have not had anytime to write in this blog. Why, nbecause I'm tired...lazy...eh more tired than anything else.  If you have followed my journey then you know that I now have a toddler.   I spend many days and every morning getting her ready for day care while simultaneously trying to live my life as well.  I have not written in this for a while so instead of trying to actually write a blog about all the things that happened one by one, I'm just going to list them all here for your enjoyment (thank me later).

12 months to 13 months:

Things that are endlessly talked about through their first year:

Who your baby looks like
Gosh, the never ending revolving door of who your kid looks like.  It reminds of this clip from Space Balls:


Why did I choose this clip?  Because everyone says that the baby looks like your uncle with your sister's nose.  Or it looks like your cousin Larry but with your Aunt Lucinda's eyes or your brothers, uncles, cousins, nephews face.  In the end (like the clip) it means absolutely NOTHING to you!  Will your kid look like someone in your family...maybe and maybe not.  More than likely they will look like you or your wife/husband.  In the end, it's a baby and it looks more like a bald old guy than anyone else.

Daycare, nanny or home:
Oh the ever debated Nanny, day care or home.  Almost as exciting as watching actual debates on TV.  Look if you want to do any of these BE MY GUEST!  Just don't look down on someone that does something different than you.  Because no matter which one you pick, it's going to cost you something anyway (if not time, definitely money).

How old is she or he?
This question I'm not bugged with so much.  Mainly cause I am terrible at guessing kids ages under 12.  I guess it just gets annoying that you have to keep saying it almost daily.    I get more annoyed that some people still can't figure out if my daughter is a boy or girl.  We had issues with this early on and it is more rare now, but now when she is 16.5 months old there are occasions where someone will think she is boy and I show them this face:

Finally an issue we dealt with from 13-16 months:

When your kid calls everyone daddy or mommy:
Okay so I loved it when my daughter's first words were daddy, but sometimes they just call everyone that.  Mainly, the decide to call people that love them and care for them most so don't feel bad.

Okay this all my summary for the post 1 year old moments that I remember.

And so we go on....

Being a Dad: So You Wanna Do This Again

It makes me laugh when I read blogs and how people can actually make money off of them.  Mainly because I am horrible at keeping up with mine.  Those of you who have kept with this and read beyond the first paragraph, I applaud you and thank you.

I wanted to write a blog for first time dads.  I always heard what it was like from the woman's perspective but saw very little of what the guy experienced.  Well now I get to do it again.  Sadly, I have been beyond busy trying to keep up with my now two year old daughter to even write about the impending second daughter's coming.

What can I tell you about the second time around experience?  It was actually uneventful.  By that, I mean we didn't have any strange techs, breakdowns or odd experiences.  Not sure if this is because everything was new and now it is pretty routine, but it really was low key.  Mainly, I spent most of my time taking care of my wife and daughter.

Some things were the same:  my wife loathes pregnancy.  She really hates being pregnant and I can't blame her.  Body goes into all sorts of crazy and you can't control it.  Some things are very different this go around:  it was discovered at the same time that she was pregnant that my wife had a labral tear.  Think of a VERY painful tear that hurts whenever it wants to, prevents you from walking, sitting, driving, or moving.  It can strike at any moment and bring you to tears.

So to say I have been busy is an understatement, but my hopes are to fill you with some toddler experiences post age two.   I will not be consistent cause I never have with this blog but hope to update it with funny information to help those who are thinking about being parents, are parents and can relate, or just simply love to laugh at my life.

It might be interesting and it might not.  That's okay.

So here we go......

What I've Learned in a Year

I am very glad that I do not make money for blogging because I would be broke.  Yes, I write like every couple months because I have no time.  Instead I'm busy running after my kid, working, going to school and trying to fit other things like working out, hobbies and frankly.... life.  Okay, rant over.

Anyways, my daughter turned one a month ago and that got me thinking about what I have learned in the past year.  So here are some thoughts on being a dad for the first year of my kids life.

1.  You Will Do Things You Never Thought Imaginable
Wiping poo and puke from a variety of places....getting sneezed on (right in the face), snot getting wiped on your nice clothes before going to work, holding a sick baby and caring for them even when they want nothing to do with you, getting pooped on, having your kid stick their wet fingers in your mouth, touching poo (involuntarily), endless diaper changes.

If this was on a brochure you would probably be like: uh honey maybe we should think a little bit more about this.  The crazy thing is you are so in love with YOUR kid that you will do just about anything.  Notice I said your kid and not someone else's kid...I would never do that for anyone else. Well maybe my wife when she's 80.....hmmm 85.


2.  It Isn't As Hard As You Think...but you certainly feel it.
Having a kid is hard.  It takes up your time, energy and space.  Unless you worked really hard at it you won't find time for yourself or your hobbies.  But it isn't as hard as you think.  Love really does capture you to the point where you love having that kid.  I can never imagine my life without my daughter.  The crazy thing is people actually want to have ANOTHER ONE!   What makes it not be so hard?  Well my wife is awesome and I love her.  I see when she needs her time and she sees when I need mine.  My wife and I both love our kid and make a point to work together as equals caring for her.  That makes it easier, but trust me you will feel very very very very tired.


3.  The Capacity for Love Increases....and so does your voice
I didn't think I could love anyone but myself and then I met my wife.  Then I thought man I couldn't love anyone else but my wife and then we had our daughter.  That girl drives me bonkers. She will blatantly stare at me and when I tell her not to put "something" (really anything) in her mouth she grins at me and does it anyway.  She will toss her food around, be a grumpy pants and I have to raise my voice when she gets close to hurting herself or something else, but with all that I still love that girl more than anything.  The capacity for love for me has grown so much because of her.  I feel like the Grinch when his heart gets bigger and bigger.

4.  That's my kid!
Usually when you think of this phrase you think of a proud moment.  I use it when she farts really loud or hits herself in the head with a toy. "Yup, that's my kid!"   But I look at her and I am totally amazed watching her grow up, learn and love her parents/grandparents.  It has been a joy to watch her figure things out and I find myself saying: "Man, that's my kid."  I look forward to watching her in the next year!

Until next time.

The End~

First Time Dad Experiences: Vacation

So after some hard work we decided that we needed a small vacation.  It would be the first real vacation that our little family of three would take.  I wondered how it would be when we had our little 6 month old baby with us.  So here is the list telling you what I learned:


1. Family Friendly helps but isn't necessary
I never liked the term family friendly because as Jim Gaffigan once said it usually sucks.   But I wanted to pick a location that I thought would be used to kids being around or crying.  This doesn't mean you can only vacation in places that have kids, but it does help.  I wouldn't bring my child to some ritzy high class 5 star hotel (first I wouldn't want to pay for something like that) and then not have anything for her.  The location had really cool kid stuff for Karis (esp. when she is a toddler) but when planning we made sure there were things for her to do.

2.  Make sure you have everything that makes home like home.
Our daughter needs a couple things to make her feel like she is at home base.  So we take her favorite stuffed kitty and her blanket, snacks all so that she feels like she's home.   Home is where the heart is....or at least where Miss Kitty and Blankie are.

3.  Request a crib...but don't be surprised if it sucks
So before we arrived at our destination we requested a crib.  It's important because where else is she going to sleep?  Not with us, I get beat down enough from my wife hogging space (let's just say I sleep vampire style so I don't take too much room).  Unfortunately the crib looked like it was out of the show Call the Midwife (oh gosh I'm spending way too much time watching shows with my wife) or out of WWII.  Had metal bars with white paint and a tiny mattress ants wouldn't be comfortable on.

4.  If you get sick on vacation...it sucks for the healthy person.
So I ended up getting sick on the second day of vacation with a really bad sinus infection.  I was dead to the world and in pain.  My wife was already awesome before this, but she really knocked it out of the park.  Cause even when your home it stinks, but when you are vacation and you get really sick its even worse.  You want to be home, your body hurts and someone else has to occupy the little one all day.


Being a dad is life in constant transition.  My girl is growing up so fast and I love every minute of it. So next time you go on vacation: plan and make sure you have all that you need and be prepared for almost anything!
The End~

First Time Dad Experiences: Illness

Soooooooo, the next couple of posts are essentially detailing what it is like when you have certain things happen for the first time.  Last time I talked about teething, which the great thing is that it is the gift that keeps on giving (we are going through it for a second time).  Todays post will be when your kid gets sick for the first time!

As you may already know (avid readers especially) our daughter is in daycare.  Our daycare is awesome: it has great teachers, great administrators and great location and facilities.  But quickly you learn that they are also prime locations for your little beauty to get sick.  Drooling, snotty, poopy animals lurk all over the rooms of these places (if you are a germaphobe you will pass out).  So it isn't whether your child will get sick, it is when.

Here are some things we learned for the first time:

1.  Your child is about 1000 times more miserable than you
Remember how much it sucks to get sick?  The aches and pain, the uncomfortable feeling that nothing is right in the world and you hate it?  Yeah now put that into a tiny body of someone who cannot speak English or convey how they really feel or what hurts without spitting.  Your child will be miserable and it doesn't matter if they have some sort of cold or type of thing that is small to us adults.  It sucks and your baby WILL let you know it.

2.  Get ready, you are about 99.9% away from getting sick!
Who says your child never gave you anything? Well more than likely you will get whatever it is your child has.  Our daughter had a cold and spread that thing throughout our family like fire to gasoline.  Funny thing is I just got over a cold a week before and boom second cold.  My wife even got hand, foot, mouth disease (your hands itch and your throat feels like you ate glass for lunch).   It is super rare for moms to get, but not in our house.  Thanks baby!!  Update: I am now on my second illness that I received from my baby in less than two months, right after I recovered from my own cold.  My wife got the cold first then I got it and was blasted with a sinus infection for two days of our vacation!
Just make sure you have some sick days saved up just in case you need to take them.  The hardest part about this is the reality that whoever is healthy will be doing the bulk of caring for your kid during this time.  As heroic as you want to sound about "even if I'm sick I will"....no you won't.  Best thing for you to do is rest, get healthy and make up for it with date nights and flowers.

3.  Your Baby will have Snot like You've Never Seen Before
So sure babies drool, they have snot come out of their nose, but not like this.   Your baby will become a factory of bodily fluids.  You will constantly have to wipe their nose and keep them dry.  In our case, our daughter hated every time we wiped her face so we basically put a bib on her to help catch the snot/drool combo.  It is part of the sick process, but just be prepared for how much of it ends up on your shirt, shoes, floor, you get the hint.


Next first time experience I want to cover: Vacations

Bye!

First Time Dad Experiences: Teething

I know it has been awhile since I wrote last, but that is because I have had several first time dad experiences that take up quite a bit of my time.  These next couple weeks I will be sharing these wonderful experiences with you internet world.  

First up is teething.  Oh that wonderful time when your little one gets their first tooth or teeth.  Here are some important things to know as a dad:

1.  They are sharp as razors
Yeah so remember that moment when you used to stick your fingers in your babies mouth so they could cutely gnaw on it?  That won't happen anymore.  Those tiny little teeth might be small and cute but they will cut you in a heart beat.  I learned this the hard way when I wanted to relive my college days when I had those, "Hey what this? or "Check this out!" moments. Go ahead, stick your fingers in their mouth, but I warned you. 

2.  They will want to chew on everything
The funny thing is that you actually can tell when your child is teething.  How you ask?  Well because your child turns into a little goat and chews on everything you own!  My daughter, when I am playing with her, will even grab my face all nice and cute AND THEN TRY TO DEVOUR ME.  Okay that was slightly dramatic, she usually just tries to pull my face in close and try to CHEW ON IT TO DEATH. 

Seriously if there is something you value like watches, necklaces, your favorite shirt and your face make sure you put it away or don't wear it.

3.  They drool like you've never seen before
So on top of them trying to chew your face off and that they have tiny razors in their mouth, they also drool like a water balloon popped in their mouth.  I really have come to terms with the fact that my daughter drools on every shirt I own.  I try to wear dri fit stuff just so that it wicks away.  With teething comes drool (The second sign that your kid is teething) and with drool comes it being all over you.  

So how do you deal with it?

Well get them some toys that they can just chew on to their hearts content!  Grab them off amazon or something, but check to make sure they aren't from China (my wife says they put lead and arsenic in all their children's toys).  Apparently the most popular toy is this giraffe named Sophie (yes she actually has a name), but there are numerous ones out there.  

Get drool wipes or some clothe or a towel even and wrap it around their face with duct tape.  Or just get anything that you can wipe the drool off your kid.  We have five of them and I had to use them all at some point.  I just can't let my child look like a crazy person or someone who has rabies or was just bit by a zombie and looks hungry.  You get my point. 

The End~

The Three Stages of Naps (4 months)

As I have always said from the beginning of finding out that we were having a baby:  you are in constant transition!  Our transition has been in the area of naps.  When she was little she would fall asleep anywhere.  Putting her down for a nap was as easy as well breathing (unless you have asthma or any respiratory issue).  But now our daughter is four months old and has quite a lot to say when we put her down for her nap.  These stages may happen with you as a dad (or mom), you may be stuck on one stage longer than the other, but you are bound to hit one of these stages at some point of putting your baby for their naps.

Here are the three stages of putting our daughter down for a nap:

1. Rebellion Stage

Now that our baby girl can make squealing/bubbles/speech complaints she makes it known that she doesn't appreciate being put down for her nap.  This is the defiant "how dare you" stage.  Our daughter will rebel and "yell" and let us know that we are quite possibly the worst parents of all time.  She likes to take her blanket and pull it over her head or pull it apart in defiance.  This can last between 10-15 mins (depending upon her will power).  We just stay true to the cause and know that she will eventually make it to the next stage.  Be careful, your baby can play you like a fiddle during this stage.  Many times early on we have heard a higher pitch scream or some yell and come in to check on her only to make the mistake of picking her up and getting a smile that says (Ha, no nap for meeeeeee!) and couldn't get her to take her nap.  We paid for it that night.  

2. Pacification Stage

This is the stage you hope your baby gets to.  This is where they self soothe by chomping on their favorite toy, blanket or learn to suck their thumb, hand, forearm or whatever body part they approve.  This is where our daughter realizes that she has lost the battle of bamboozling (I really wanted to use this word) her parents.  She is quiet yet still awake but soothing herself.  This stage is way more fun as she isn't some wild banshee hollering all over the place.  This leads us to the stage that every parent hopes and prays for: the "out" stage.

3. Out Stage

I call this the out stage because this is when your baby looks knocked out.  No movement, usually tangled up in their blanket (due to the rebellion stage) and they are simply out in the beauty of sleep.  This is the best stage because you know that your baby is getting some sleep and that when they awake they will be a better human being and not some grouchy pants.  

Naps are essential for a baby.  I mean as an adult I am grouchy when I am tired and haven't had much sleep, imagine what a baby feels?   There will be times where they simply will not go down and you will have to endure whatever beast you have until they take the next nap.  The great thing about naps is if your baby takes them you can do things lots of different things like write in your blog about how your baby needs to take naps!

The End~